Buzzword Bullshit: Synergy

It's everywhere. It is used when bodies come together for a beneficial outcome. It is used when the speaker has no idea how to articulate a concept. It cannot be avoided.

It is "Synergy."

This poor, innocent little word. Two parts Greek god, one part Alan Parsons Project song title. We hear it so often now that we've even stopped flinching when douchebags use it. But have we paused to wonder what it really means? What was its original use before the dark forces of idiocy co-opted it? Can we restore it to its former glory?

As it turns out - synergy's origins lie in Greece (along with democracy, tzatziki, windex, and swarthy hirsute men) in the word syn-ergos, or "working together."

An easy-going word, this original "synergy" simply liked team sports. But then this man began the change.

Coining the term "synergistics" - which is seemingly defined [by Wikipedia] as "an encompassing term which he used broadly as a metaphoric language for communicating experiences using geometric concepts and, more specifically, to reference the empirical study of systems in transformation, with an emphasis on total system behavior unpredicted by the behavior of any isolated components" - Buckminster began the downfall of this word. In one vicious stroke of the pen the word no longer meant "working together" - now it had significance and discovery of full system effects greater than the isolated elements!

Uh oh.

Plus it had some really technical descriptions attached to it.

So now we see it used in a variety of situations. In drugs - "synergy" refers to two drugs interacting to magnify their respective side effects (yay?) There is also pest synergy, toxicological synergy and so on and so on. I'm willing to sort of buy into these ideas - after all, the two bodies interacting create a more powerful effect than other one on its own. I guess that works.

Where the bullshit really hits the fan (in an act that we might define as synergy) is when people with a straight, unflinching face (soon to be punched) refer to "human" or "corporate" synergy. The human synergy effect goes like this:

Bob wants a cherry from the cherry tree, but he can't reach it! So Steve comes over and stands on Bob's shoulders. Combined, they can reach the cherries.

We had a word for this - cooperation - a much better word, might I add.

But we descend further into madness.

Corporate synergy is described like this:

Corporation A acquires Corporation B for added financial benefits.

We have a word for this too - takeover. There's no happy cooperation for corporations. They compete with one another and when one corporation merges into another, the world knows perfectly well that one corporation simply bested the other.

In this respect, synergy has lost its value. Nowadays, we see Synergy sub in for a number of other words:

Bullying

Nepotism

Hostile Takeover

Power Grab

Theft

We've allowed this word to enter such a silly array of usages that it no longer holds any value. It is now simply a word used by people who don't know what they actually want to say or are too ashamed or spineless to call a situation out for what it is.

As an MBA, you're going to hear it a lot. Learn to control the flinch.

Caveat Emptor - Do you REALLY want an MBA?

Full disclosure. It is May 7, 2010. I graduate from a two-year MBA program at a Top 50 business school in the northeast in 8 days' time.

I have no job.

So there you have it - from here on out, please keep this in mind. I don't necessarily feel bitter towards my MBA, but I find it important to fully re-think why I chose to do this program. Was my job all that bad? At the time I felt firmly the answer was "hell yes"...now, I'm not so sure - paychecks are paychecks after all.

So, let's take a look back at the myths of the MBA as a point to consider before you invest somewhere in between one and seven years and anywhere between $10,000 to $100,000 (not to mention opportunity cost of lost wages) in a program.

1) An MBA will get you a higher-level job

No. It won't. Believe me. It really won't.

YOU will get yourself a higher-level job. You will accomplish this through good work, good references, and possibly jumping to a higher-level position at another company.

Getting an MBA categorically does not make the world magically believe you are suddenly qualified to run management jobs in any field you like - this I can promise you. MAYBE in times of economic boom companies will allow you to proxy your MBA work as viable management experience. But in this current climate, not a chance. If you had great management experience prior to entering the MBA program, then the MBA will give you a slight leg up over your competition. If you didn't have great management experience prior to entering the program, let me tell you what's going to happen:

You are going to work a similar near-entry level position to what you were already doing, except you're going to have student debts to pay off now. Your payoff for the MBA program will not be seen immediately, so be ready for some humbling.

So what if your company has a higher position and they want an MBA for it? See if they'll let you do it part-time and work your way through the program - chances are your company will fund it if they're so damn desperate for an MBA.

2) MBA's Are Changing to Give You Real Life Management Experience (related to Myth #1)

No. They don't. They give you a simulation of real life project management and consulting. And I assure you that employers note the difference here. Don't fool yourself for one second when you read the programs' brochures. Real life management experience happens in real life when, significantly, you can get fired when you fuck up.

Ok, so we've addressed those myths.

Why, then, would you get an MBA? Let's look at the possible arguments and then consider if they're viable.

1) You get lots of accounting and financial experience

Yes, true. Of course, you could've just taken a couple accounting and finance classes. Or if you're driven enough, from a book.

2) You get lots of networking opportunities and access to an alumni network

Yes, this is absolutely true, and is wonderfully helpful. This is a great point and I do not dream of refuting it.

3) You want to start your own business and need tools and credentials to do it

Partially true. Some book understanding of business plans, financial projections, and whatnot is good for this, as is having experienced professors who can guide you through your initial business plan drafts.

But for pitching to VC's or Angels? They want to see grey hairs and battle scars. More important than your MBA is your finding a team of experienced pros who can guide your innovative butt to profitability. Can you leverage #2 to achieve #3? You bet. Are there other ways to do it? You bet.

4) You are unhappy with your job and are seeking a change

Let me put it bluntly:

AT LEAST YOU HAVE A JOB

This is the worst reason ever to enter an MBA program. You are blindly throwing away lots of money to address an intangible restlessness you are feeling. Maybe you got screwed over for a promotion, or you don't particularly like working in your family business, or what have you. There are other ways to break out of that rut that don't cost you what an MBA costs. Relax, breathe, do some charity work, and get some perspective before you charge into MBA applications.

So the networking, the alumni network, and the mild career boost the MBA can give you are the reasons you might want to pursue an MBA.

These are valid enough reasons, don't get me wrong. But make sure you understand this - it is not going to bring about a dramatic change to your career. That is something that comes from you - from your networking, from your pounding pavements to find new opportunities, and from your continual learning through meetings, articles, interviews, and what have you.

The MBA program is difficult, frustrating, tiring. You will be continually exhausted, irritable, and depressed. Make sure you really want this before you apply or start. You may find your time, money, and sanity are better spent elsewhere with far greater return for your life and career.